When You Can’t Summon Joy on Command: Celebrating in a Crisis

“Well, I woke up this morning.”

My beloved friend and colleague often offered this response to whatever version of “How are you?” anyone ever presented. Healthy perspective, a gratitude developed in part through his time as a US Army Captain, serving tours of duty in Iraq and Afghanistan. He knows too many people who no longer wake up each morning. His reply was completely reasonable, even admirable, and yet it used to send me into a rage, one that I recognize now was rooted in self-judgment and social stigmas surrounding mental health challenges.

What about people who are depressed? What about people in mourning? What about victims of trauma, both acute and the ongoing kind that results from systemic racism, or sexism, or homophobia, or transphobia? What about healthcare workers, including cleaning staff and chaplains and security guards, who go to work every day knowing that far too many people in their communities refuse to take precautions against COVID? What if I wake up in the morning dreading making it through the rest of the day? Does that make me a bad person? A lesser person?

וְשָׂמַחְתָּ֖ בְּחַגֶּ֑ךָ וְהָיִ֖יתָ אַ֥ךְ שָׂמֵֽחַ

V’samachta b’chagecha v’hayita ach sameach. You shall rejoice in your holiday, and you shall have nothing but joy.